Back In the Saddle
Hello Friends,
Well, it's been a good number of days since I last posted. I'm coming back from a tough few days. The children were sick for awhile, and then we had terrible weather for days. Thus, a classic case of cabin fever set in for everyone. Unfortunately, this led me to have an extremely tough week, mentally. I mean......really tough.
I could feel the walls closing in on me, and a serious heaviness came over me. I couldn't stop playing these terrible thoughts in my head over and over again. You're not a good mother. You're stuck now. You're alone. You don't have the temperament to be a good mom. No one understands. You can't even take good care of yourself. You don't look as put together as other moms. You're not pretty anymore. Look at what motherhood has done to you.
These thoughts, along with many others, streamed through my mind all last week. One bad thought led to a million more bad thoughts. A couple of days, I could barely will myself to parent. And other days...there were tears....lots and lots of tears.
This is what Postpartum Depression {PPD} looks like. Throw in a bit of grief and you've got the makings of a perfect mental storm.
Perhaps you're a new mommy yourself, or have just added a new bundle of joy to your family like I did. I had my son in January, was pregnant again by Mother's Day, and my Baby Angel flew away to God in July. That's a lot of hormonal imbalance in one year. Postpartum Depression affects so many women, but few speak of it. I talk about it a lot because I have been pregnant or have had a baby in my arms every year since I was married!
I also talk about it because I don't want you to feel like you're alone. "The Enemy" wants to make sure that you feel isolated, upset, and lonely. He takes full advantage of what should be a happy time in your life, and preys on all of the natural fears and insecurities a woman has when she brings a new baby into the world. Why does he do this? Don't you know sweet mama? The Devil hates to see strong Christian families thriving, and he knows exactly where to strike. I don't want to put any undo pressure on you.....but.....the Devil knows that Mommies are the heart of the family operation. If he can take you out...the kids fall apart..the house falls apart....the dog falls apart....and OF COURSE the husband falls apart. Don't give in to him!
Honestly, I'm still navigating how to get through this depression thing. I'll tell you what has helped me though. PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! I prayed my way through the storm last week....even when I didn't feel like it I managed to squeak out a few words to God. I read a bit of scripture every day. I cried out to my loved ones. My support system....my Mommy and husband. They lifted me up in prayer and encouraging words. When the weather cleared, I got out of the house immediately and was blessed by encouraging words from my Pastor's wife at my MOPS group meeting. I made it to church and heard more words of encouragement. Watch positive things, listen to positive things....DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO! Take breaks from the kids. Get some alone time to pray and "be still'. And hey.....there is nothing wrong with seeking some professional guidance as well. I've sought the expertise of faith-filled therapists before. I have friends who take medication to help regulate their hormones better. There are some things we really can't control. God gives us many tools to deal with life's challenges, though!
When you have fallen off of the saddle {I've been watching a lot of Heartland on Netflix...lol}, and you are flat on your face on the rolling hills of motherhood...or your living room floor; please remember that you're not alone in this. God is with you. He has always been with you...and always will be.
"I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. "
~Psalm 40:1-3
The next time you feel overwhelmed by motherhood, remember this scripture and use the tools God has given you to feel better. Pick the reins of motherhood back up and keep pushing forward. You've got this!
